Why am I even doing this?

One of the questions assigned to me by my head priest is “Why do you want to become a Taoist priest?” And I’m supposed to give an answer that does not reflect an egotistical desire. Like some sort of “Koan,” as he put it.

So why am I even doing this Taoist priest training? Why do I want to become a Taoist priest?

To be honest, I have no idea. I really, honestly, truly, madly, deeply don’t know. I have no interest in answering the huge questions of “why am I here,” “who am I,” and “what is existence?” Also, I have zero interest in attaining “enlightenment,” despite the fact that I’m fascinated by other people’s experiences, and although I myself have had many “waking up” experiences while doing enlightening things, such as the various types of meditation and healing that I do.

So I don’t know why I’m doing this. But I just am. If Alan Watts defines “Karma” as “what is happening right now,” then training to become a Taoist priest is my Karma in his eyes.

I’m just going with the natural flow of things, not forcing anything to happen, keeping all my doors open, and just letting life unfold before me while enjoying the journey. It’s called Wu Wei. And this is where I am right now.

So if I’m forced to answer my assigned “Koan,” then my answer would be Wu Wei. It takes a huge taming of the ego to let Wu Wei happen, so I can’t think of any answer better than that.

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