Lately, I’ve been stumbling through my meditation sessions like I’m still brand spanking new to this. It’s stupid. I’ve been doing my neigong every day (except for a few Sundays or Mondays here and there) but you’d think I’ve never done this before. But I guess it’s true when my Qigong master says “you’ll have good days, and you’ll have bad days.”
At first I didn’t believe him when he first said that because I was progressing really well at the time and just like the attitude of a dumb teenager/young adult, I would scoff, “No… yeah, I got this.”
But after having made milestone after milestone, I’ve plateaued. There are times when I really can’t feel my dantian, or that I can’t control my attention for the entire session. And then I’d be mentally scrambling through the myriad of ten-thousand neigong techniques and visualizations and breathing techniques that I somehow learned, but to no avail. Then when the session is over, I’d get up off my mat with the resigned feeling of “yeah that hour was pointless.”
It’s been happening over the past week. Weird though, because while I was out on vacation in Mexico a few weeks ago, I was locked into the wuji. But over the past week, it’s been futile. I wonder why? But it doesn’t matter. I want so badly to contact my Qigong instructor, but I know what he’s going to say… nothing. He never e-mails me back. So today I got pretty desperate and went into The Tao Bums website to look through his responses on various threads and every advice he gives out is basically the same advice. Simplicity.
In Qigong/Neigong there are so many damn techniques out there, and many of them are really advanced techniques. Many of them are very involved. But Lomax’s techniques are very simple. And it was that simplicity that resonated with me and got me to experience things that I’ve never though I’d experience.
But I tend to forget. Sometimes I need a reminder. Just relax, don’t engage your thoughts, and maintain “light” awareness on the dantian. Don’t try anything.
In Taoism, there’s much emphasis in quiet observation of nature, and nature has this way of spontaneously allowing the brilliance of all things to shine. When a tiny, young tree grows, no one pulls on its trunk to make it grow. All it needs is the environment to grow, such as good soil and nourishment, and in time it becomes beautiful tree. And I guess it’s the same thing with Qi cultivation. I can’t “make” my dantian heat up and vibrate. I can only provide it with the environment to do so by allowing the mind and body to be still. Then spontaneously, it will do it’s thing.
Wu wei or the highway.