“I Don’t Give A Fuck” is an attitude that could either mean you’re a total asshole, or that you’re conserving precious emotional energy.
You must research this.
A lot of times, when people say that they don’t care, it can often mean that they’re giving themselves an excuse to act selfishly. People like that genuinely don’t care about the consequences that their own actions have on themselves and on others. Like people who drive recklessly or people who go around instigating others. That’s just being a total asshole.
But mindful “not giving a fuck” is a true skill. It’s an art. It’s a craft that you shape to perfection out of stone. To be truly skillful at IDGAF means that you care deeply about your loved ones, forging an upward path for human society, and the well being of our planet and everything in it… but have no fucks to give about the bullshit people throw at you.
In our society, we’ve been conditioned to react in certain ways to certain stimuli… ie. to get angry whenever anyone pisses you off, whether they cut you off on the street, or if they call you names. We’ve been told that it’s “okay” to get angry if that guy in your office calls you a total pudwacker for being a White Sox fan, or if an acquaintance gives you a passive-aggressive comment on your last facebook post.
So to a lot of people, being angry is “okay.” But is it really?
In the medical theory of Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM), the liver has the energetic function to make sure energy circulates properly. By energy, I mean the proper circulation of blood, fluids, hormones, neurotransmitters, etc. The proper overall circulation is what keeps everything in your body running smoothly. But if the circulation is impeded or depressed, then you have a condition that is called “stagnation” (technically it’s called “Liver Qi Stagnation,” but don’t worry about that).
The most common causes of stagnation are physical trauma, poor lifestyle choices (bad food and lack of exercise), and most importantly to this post – emotional stress and anger. When stress and anger occur, your circulation goes out of whack, and all of your energy rises upwards like hot smoke. Your body, especially your head, becomes hot (think of the phrase “hot headed”). It affects your nervous system, the way you think, the choices you make, and in many cases, anger causes pain and tension in your head, neck, shoulders, and even lower back. If this goes on for prolonged periods of time, this lack of proper circulation can affect your digestive system, and then now we’re really in trouble – diarrhea, constipation, colitis, GERD, acid reflux, etc. I can actually go much further than this, but just know that stress and anger can snowball into a myriad of horrible medical conditions over time.
So realizing the Tao of IDGAF is important for emotional and physical health. Being able to distinguish between times to truly care about stuff versus times to not care about certain things takes a lot of skill and tremendous effort. Just like an athlete doing basic drills every single day to master his craft for the big game, you have to do your basic drills in order to master yourself for the big game of life.
The first basic drill is understanding that people spread their negativity around because they themselves are suffering. Anger and stress are suffering, and it’s many peoples’ nature to try to get you to join them. But it’s up to you to not absorb their energy. Whenever someone’s being a punk ass, just keep your distance, don’t act on any angry impulse, and simply tell yourself, “Whatever. That’s their suffering, not mine.”
The second basic drill is to build yourself an invisible violet bubble. I like the color violet because not only is it the color of healing, but it’s also the highest frequency of all visible light. So whenever anyone throws their disgusting energy at you, it dissolves right on the bubble. You’ll hear their words and see their actions, but their intent won’t penetrate you. Just use your intent to surround yourself with that barrier.
The third basic drill is to spend just a few minutes in the morning and/or evening, sitting down, closing your eyes, and being aware of your breath. Just breath in and feel the breath moving into your nose and down to your belly button. When you breath out, just feel the breath going out of your belly button and out your nose. Just fully experience that breath, the way it feels, the way it sounds. Build on a daily practice of mindful breathing just a few minutes a day, and you’re building a world of tranquility. This is the most important exercise.
All of these drills take time, so don’t let it bother you if you find it difficult to do at first. And don’t worry if you fuck up, because I fuck up too. A lot, actually. That’s why they call this “spiritual practice.” Just keep practicing. The healing is in the journey itself, not the “goal.”
But I promise you, it’s worth the hard work. You deserve inner peace.
In advanced meditation, you won’t even need to be mindful of your breath. In the advanced version of the Tao of IDGAF, you question the very nature of this thing that you call “self.” But that’s later. Much later. Just breathe.
And just for kicks, here’s a phenomenal guided meditation to start realizing the Tao of IDGAF: