Last weekend I was down in Springfield, Missouri for another 4-day workshop with my Qigong master. It’s funny, since he hates large cities (ie Chicago), it’s always quite an excursion to go see him. He’s either a 4 hour drive to Terre Haute, Indiana, or a 9 hour drive to Springfield, Missouri. The last time I saw him, I had to take an airline to South Carolina. But the workshops are always enlightening, and I always learn something new about healing, energetics, and myself.
Mostly, I learn about myself.
This time around, this Qigong workshop taught me a lot about the energetics of emotional pain and heartache.
The first and fourth days of the workshop are reserved for certification students and practitioners already certified in the system (like me). During those days, we work on therapeutic techniques for healing others, such as anxiety or back pain. The second and third days of the workshop are when my master teaches us techniques for self cultivation in order to heal ourselves and to raise our vibration so that we can become that conduit (or “vessel”) through which healing can occur for others. During the cultivation days, we learn sitting, standing, and moving cultivation exercises. The sitting exercise is the most intense, and are very shamanic in nature. It’s essentially meditation, but with the added awareness of energy within our own bodies. During this, our Qigong master comes to each and every one of us and energetically transmits the lineage on to us, empowering us with the energetic wisdom of the entire lineage, including the power from our ancestors and predecessors and all the healers that came before us. It’s a powerful shamanic ceremony with the central theme of healing ourselves and others.
Every workshop’s ceremony has been more powerful than the last. This time during the ceremony, I felt a spirit grab my feet and hold onto me. She was crying out to me, “Help me. Save me.” My feet were on fire. She held on to my feet and wouldn’t let go. When the ceremony was over, my feet were still burning with the desperate grip of the spirit… whom I realized was our very own Mother Earth.
Desperate for help, Mother Earth pleaded to me – or rather warned me – that she’d have no choice but to allow humanity to destroy itself in order to save herself, unless I did my part to help save the planet. Mother Earth – which nourishes the trees, the soil, and all things sentient – is the only home that we’ve ever known. We have to save our home from ourselves… for ourselves. We have to save each other from ourselves. We have to be the Light that saves humanity, our planet, and all things in in it. That was the message that Mother Earth sent me.
I thought that was as powerful of an experience that I can get from this workshop. Boy, was I wrong.
Shortly after that meditation, it was time for the movement portion of Qigong. The movement portion is intense in its own way. They’re all movements specifically made to interact with Qi directly (as opposed to many systems that use the breath) in order to raise your body’s/energy body’s vibration. When it came time to practice the movements, I slowly started to feel the weight of all the emotional obstacles that I’ve been facing in the last 6 weeks… and felt them all mix in with the cultivation. All of that emotion mixed with the vibrations of the high level Qi started to make me feel like my chest was about to combust. A little voice inside of me told me to leave the workshop and lay down outside. So I went out in the hallway and laid down. Some people seemed worried, but I told them that I was fine and that I needed to ground myself. I was trying to heal myself on my own, but it wasn’t happening. More and more pressure was building on my chest and in my head that it started to become unbearable.
After everyone was finished with the Qigong movement class, a friend came by and sat next to me as I was still laid down flat on my back. I asked him for a Qigong healing treatment and he happily obliged. He cleared stagnant Qi in my lungs and heart, pulled stagnant Qi from my crown, and pulled stagnant Qi from my feet. When he was done clearing stagnation from my body, he projected healing Qi into my heart and lungs.
And that’s when my emotions finally exploded.
Every tear that I’ve been bottling inside of myself for the past six weeks flew out of my eyes with fury. Air was grinding in and out of my lungs, pushing every ounce of sadness, hurt, and confusion out of my body. It took a few minutes to let it all out, and when I was done, clarity and stillness finally settled in… feeling like a fog lifting from my spirit.
After 6 weeks of feeling like I was caving in on myself, I finally felt calm.
It took me quite some time to get re-settled into the workshop. And when I did, my friends said I looked better. They said that before my friend gave me that Qigong treatment, I looked grey. My color seemed to have come back. After a few hours I finally felt somewhat normal again. The grief that I’ve been feeling for several weeks is still somewhat there, but hasn’t since been consuming me as it had been. Since then and till now, I’ve been feeling much lighter. I feel like I grew wings.
That was it. That’s what I needed. That’s probably the reason for my particular presence at the workshop… to learn what it feels like to be freed from the shackles of the emotional attachment of grief so that I can do it for others. It was a great lesson learned.
But the greatest lesson of all is that sometimes I just can’t get through things on my own, as much as I feel like I can. Sometimes I need to call for help. And having good friends nearby who know what to do to help is the greatest thing anyone can possibly have.
At any moment, life can get the best out of you. One moment you’ve got everything figured out, and the next moment you’re on some sort of downward spiral. But that’s why you always need the right friends around you. In my circle, the “right” friends are the ones with so much energetic compassion that they know what to do without you having to say anything. That’s who I surround myself with nowadays.
Current and future friends of the Light, the Way, and the Path… I’m so grateful for all of you.
All in all, it was yet another powerful experience with my Qigong master. I’m glad I chose to be on this path. Or did the path choose me?