You’re a Lone Seeker with few masters and even fewer colleagues.
You live in an aggressively contentious society full of those whose minds have succumbed to “programming,” in a very materialist Western culture. You find it difficult to express yourself publicly without fear of ridicule.
Even amongst your own colleagues, you’re an alien.
You practice Acupuncture so differently that colleagues think it’s too weird. You practice a QiGong lineage that is so outside of traditional techniques that it brings out the angry, aggressive egos of other practitioners. Even within your own QiGong lineage, you find yourself on the outskirts of the tribe, having gone “rogue” time and time again in the search for your own truth to their displeasure. With Taoism and Buddhism, it’s hard to find people who also utilize Taoist and Buddhist principles clinically, not just philosophers or self-cultivators. Even within Taoism, it’s hard to find people who don’t use the “Taoism” as another category in order to make themselves look and seem “different.”
In either case, it’s hard to find people who simply and genuinely want to help others. And that’s all you’re looking for… people with open minds and open hearts who genuinely just want to help.
Sometimes you want so badly to identify with others, but most of the time you’d rather be your own hard-won ally.
So you walk this path alone. Most of the time you’re happy, but sometimes the self-induced loneliness gnaws away at you so hard that you start to bleed. You keep your hands in your pockets and try to let their insults bounce off you. Sometimes it hurts. Closed-mindedness hurts. Ignorance hurts. And you want to hate them all, but you can’t… that’s not what you do. Hate is just a mask for fear and grief, and you know this well.
So just like Kwai Chang Caine, you spread light and love and compassion to where ever there’s darkness, to whomever needs it, to whomever wants it. And when the job is done, you go back on your seeking path alone.
And that’s okay.
See you, Renegade Seeker.