Brazil and My Life-Changing Question

Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, 2007

By the end of 2006, I was spiritually at one of my all-time lows. I repeatedly questioned my own existence in this world in a very “George Bailey” sort of way (James Stewart’s character in the 1946 film “It’s A Wonderful Life”), that maybe the world would be best without me. To be honest, I used to think about that pretty regularly for several years. But this time around, I had a son on the way so I snapped out of it quickly, especially after our trip to Brazil in 2007. Continue reading

Is It All Me?

Today’s 1-hr neigong sitting was monumentally difficult. Although I felt the white light vibrations grow from within and seep into me from without, I was a bit too attached to my monkey ass mind. But it was my first 1-hr sitting since my qigong workshop a few weeks ago, so I wasn’t so hard on myself. Actually, I’ve grown to rarely be hard on myself. In cultivation practice just like anything else, you’ll always have “good” days and “bad” days. Continue reading

Flashback Friday

May, 2009

Who am I kidding? My entire blog is based on a continuous series of flashbacks. Continue reading

In My Turtle Shell.

“Solitude is a hard-won ally, faithful and patient.” – Henry Rollins

Current mood.

Shell time.

What a commodity. It’s refreshing and recuperating. Rejuvenating and reenergizing. It’s what keeps me sane. Continue reading

Qigong, Mother Earth, and a Little Help from My Friends

Last weekend I was down in Springfield, Missouri for another 4-day workshop with my Qigong master. It’s funny, since he hates large cities (ie Chicago), it’s always quite an excursion to go see him. He’s either a 4 hour drive to Terre Haute, Indiana, or a 9 hour drive to Springfield, Missouri. The last time I saw him, I had to take an airline to South Carolina. But the workshops are always enlightening, and I always learn something new about healing, energetics, and myself.

Mostly, I learn about myself.

This time around, this Qigong workshop taught me a lot about the energetics of emotional pain and heartache. Continue reading


I saw a bug while I was treating a patient the other day. I still can’t stop thinking about him.

Or her.

She was pretty, so let’s call her a lady. Continue reading

Snapping Out Of It

Yesterday morning when I was doing my exercise routine, a renown Taoist monk/Tai Chi master contacted me personally and offered help. We had been following each other on social media for some time, and from time to time he’d comment on some of my posts. He noticed that I’ve posted a few times about how much of a funk I was in, and that I was a bit sad. So he contacted me saying that maybe I can train with him for a week or a weekend and tackle this attachment with him (what an honor for such an invitation!). If I was sad, he said, maybe there’s a fault in my philosophical understanding of the Tao.  Continue reading