Tag Archives: depression

See You, Renegade Seeker.

Continue reading

Hurt: The Orphan/Wounded Child Archetype

Everyone I know goes away in the end.  – “Hurt” by Nine Inch Nails/Johnny Cash

Continue reading

Me and My Shadow [Self]

Like the wallpaper sticks to the wall
Like the seashore clings to the sea
Like you’ll never get rid of your shadow
Frank, you’ll never get rid of me
~ Sammy Davis Jr and Frank Sinatra in the song “Me and My Shadow”

Continue reading

Today

“I wanted more than life could ever grant me.” ~ Today, by The Smashing Pumpkins

Today is the greatest day for me. I’m going to heal. Continue reading

Brazil and My Life-Changing Question

Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, 2007

By the end of 2006, I was spiritually at one of my all-time lows. I repeatedly questioned my own existence in this world in a very “George Bailey” sort of way (James Stewart’s character in the 1946 film “It’s A Wonderful Life”), that maybe the world would be best without me. To be honest, I used to think about that pretty regularly for several years. But this time around, I had a son on the way so I snapped out of it quickly, especially after our trip to Brazil in 2007. Continue reading

Limping

Feeling sad is so annoying.

And it happens every spring. Without getting too much into Taoist principles, spring time is a time for a lot of shifting. And for me, it’s always intense, and it sucks. And to add to that, I dumbly tend to do problematic things at the same time, which makes things a lot worse. It’s like I lose my head.

[cut to: “Where Is My Mind?” by the Pixies]

I’m struggling over here. Continue reading

Sitting in Oblivion to Blow Up the Outside World

 

Almost twenty years ago, I was suffering from one of the lowest points of my life. I was an undergrad at the time, but the downward spiral of anger and depression that I was going through were so debilitating that I would spend days on end at home, not wanting to go outside, not wanting to see or speak to any of my friends (or whatever friends I had left). I held myself hostage inside of my apartment that I treated like a turtle shell, inside of which I hid. The only energy I had was just enough to sleep, smoke cigarettes, and listen to the radio. At the time, it was the mid-90’s and alternative/grunge was my savior. Continue reading