Tag Archives: loner

See You, Renegade Seeker.

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Then and Now

My New Year’s Resolution is the same as always: want less, have less, post less (twitter/facebook), write more (blogging), experience more, help more, and forgive more.

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Hurt: The Orphan/Wounded Child Archetype

Everyone I know goes away in the end.  – “Hurt” by Nine Inch Nails/Johnny Cash

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Me and My Shadow [Self]

Like the wallpaper sticks to the wall
Like the seashore clings to the sea
Like you’ll never get rid of your shadow
Frank, you’ll never get rid of me
~ Sammy Davis Jr and Frank Sinatra in the song “Me and My Shadow”

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In My Turtle Shell.

“Solitude is a hard-won ally, faithful and patient.” – Henry Rollins

Current mood.

Shell time.

What a commodity. It’s refreshing and recuperating. Rejuvenating and reenergizing. It’s what keeps me sane. Continue reading

Sitting in Oblivion to Blow Up the Outside World

 

Almost twenty years ago, I was suffering from one of the lowest points of my life. I was an undergrad at the time, but the downward spiral of anger and depression that I was going through were so debilitating that I would spend days on end at home, not wanting to go outside, not wanting to see or speak to any of my friends (or whatever friends I had left). I held myself hostage inside of my apartment that I treated like a turtle shell, inside of which I hid. The only energy I had was just enough to sleep, smoke cigarettes, and listen to the radio. At the time, it was the mid-90’s and alternative/grunge was my savior. Continue reading

Help.

For the past few weeks that I’ve been an emotional mess. Last week reached its peak with the sentiment of unexplainable loneliness and despair, and a resounding sadness for humanity as a whole.

Help,” I murmured to myself out loud one day as I sat alone in my empty and dim office.

And then it all happened. Last Thursday a shaman invited me over to his nearby office and we had an amazing talk. Later that day, a friend came by for an equally energizing conversation. Just last Sunday, I reconnected with my closest friends from back in acupuncture college. And last Tuesday, I had an amazing chat with a friend of mine living in Seattle who gave me a profound tarot reading, guiding me, and showing me which way to go in life. Continue reading